Kiki Smith is one of my favorite artists. When I look at her work I deflate. I know she was born into the biz and had access to resources and connections that enabled her to fully actualize her artistic vision. I feel defeated and limited.
It’s hard for me to see how little ole me matters when there is someone like Kiki Smith, or Rithika Merchant or Michael McGrath making work that makes me feel obsolete. This feeling that in order for our art to matter, we are in competition with those that inspire us, and that we have to surpass them in order to have value, or a place. We get told a lot that our art matters, that we matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah , whatever, sure. It’s easy to know we matter intellectually but to really feel it in your bones that you matter is a whole other thing. I truly doubted the truth of it, and felt that the cost of coming to truly believe I matter was to become an insufferable spiritual-bypassing selfish twat. But this is not true. The most recent Art Biz podcast episode was about the book "Must Be Nice" that addresses the jealousy and defeat many of us feel. In the interview the author Jason Kotecki talks about building up your own unique 'talent stack" and knowing which "game" you are playing to help appreciate your unique contributions. We can and should do this for our own personal development. But it's actually deeply important we do it in order to build an entirely new way of living a good life. Many of us artists and coaches are trying to define our lives outside of the corporate/capitalist/colonialist machine. We want to fully actualize our potential but it feels like the inhumane march of progress is leaving us behind or making us feel conflicted. There is so much to take into account, our need to survive, our desire to thrive, our values that we all ALL should have access to basic dignity and safety and feeling guilty and angst-ridden over the experiences others have of poverty and violence. How dare I ask for more? We also struggle to find meaning, our individual value and contribution. We struggle with “why bother” and feeling minuscule and average and amateurish and forced to be a dilettante because we also work and raise families. We feel like "something in me is still unexpressed and I fear I will fall ill or die before I am able to get at it." Yesterday I had the thought that scientists are mostly discovering what is NOT true. Collectively as artists, coaches, and creators, our attempts to live our best lives, even if we fail, are vitally important. Maybe I sound like a lunatic, but it feels like with AI and corporate greed that something is coming to a head and we who are trying to build a life outside of all of that are FIGURING OUT HOW TO DO IT, which means finding out mostly what does not work. Our “failure” contributes to the larger quest. Understanding why things don’t work, incorporating our values and concerns for humanity---how are we going to live a better life, how are we ACTUALLY going to build this new way? This is why your art, your creative life is important, because it is part of a cultural movement to live your best life. That is radical and quietly revolutionary. Deciding that you matter and putting your work out there, asking for support, building a network, supporting each other, daring to be a business person, this is deeply important work and each person’s experience of it, not just the shiny successful stars, but each of us trying, it is part of a giant collective movement. It is part of what is changing the world. We are going to be examples to others trying to do the same. We are helping to figure out how to do it, from all these different perspectives - including yours! It is really hard to live outside of the “system” and make your work. We each have our individual needs and ability to say no to things we don't want to do. The more we can each individually find a way to live our unique actualize life, the more we can do it in a way that acknowledges and takes responsibility to the well being of all humans, the more we can take risks to tell the truth, make the thing, ask for support, give support, the stronger this alternative way of living becomes. It is not just okay for you to make your creative work and put it out there, and define ways to be supported in making it - this work is truly part of what will save us. What are you trying to build in the world? Where do you need support? Let me know in the comments :) Context Clues: 1) Listen to the latest The Art Biz podcast episode with Jason Kotecki https://artbizsuccess.com/kotecki-comparison/ 2) Kiki Smith’s art, specifically this piece https://www.artsy.net/artwork/kiki-smith-harbor-2 3) Simone Grace-Seoul (I am in her writing class and she is amazing) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw1zHRbuXGR/?img_index=1
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