In this video, I wanted to delve into the challenges of managing artistic creativity while dealing with depression or other chronic invisible conditions (I also get frequent migraines). I'll share my recent personal experiences and insights on finding a balance that works for me. My mood is still low, but I'm making it through!

Struggling with Fluctuations in Energy and Mood:
Living with depression or similar conditions often leads to unpredictable fluctuations in energy, mood, and outlook. Personally, I've struggled with feeling great and full of ideas one moment, only to lose momentum and struggle to get back on track when my mood shifts.

During high-energy phases, I would start new projects and feel unstoppable. However, during low periods, I battled feelings of worthlessness and struggled to do anything productive. This black-and-white perspective created a constant internal conflict.

Shifting Perspectives
A few years ago, I had a realization that maybe my high-energy self was setting me up for failure by expecting constant peak performance. Instead of always initiating new projects during high periods, I learned to use that energy for maintenance and preparation for the inevitable low phases.

During low moments, I practiced being willing to do even the smallest creative task, like sketching a single line in bed. This shift in mindset helped me stay connected to my creative side even during tough times.

I also learned the importance of showing compassion toward myself during depressive episodes. Rather than judging or trying to force myself out of it, I embraced the reality of my feelings and focused on inclusion and acceptance of all aspects of my experience.

Just as Universal Design aims to make spaces accessible to all, I applied a similar concept to my art practice, ensuring it accommodates my full range of moods and energies. This inclusive approach has been transformative in maintaining a sustainable creative practice.

A Beautiful Experience of Self-love and Self-compassion
As part of a business course, I created a recording to rehearse and memorize the authentic self and values I want to bring into my business. I was very aware of including this embrace of my full self as I wrote it. I recently listened to it when my mood was very low and the experience of hearing my own voice remind me of these values of compassion, love and acceptance was extremely moving! I've built a safety net to catch me when my mood falls and it works. I'm still recovering, but I am hopeful

Navigating artistic creativity while managing depression is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-care. Finding balance requires embracing all aspects of oneself, practicing self-compassion, and honoring the rhythms of life.

Do you have strategies you use to manage your mood or energy? Is this an area you struggle with? Let me know in the comments :)

Join me for the for Radiate into Red expressive arts workshop (or to get the recording later).
​Register here!

Last week I talked about the judgmental limiting No, the scared NO. And also the valid NO, the focusing NO. 

Why you say yes, why you say no?
When do you say yes, when do you say no?

What is the timeline of your studio practice, what are the zones of intimacy and privacy in your studio practice? Consider this diagram of the private to public spectrum. The things you create and express are born, live and die on this diagram. They might stay in one circle their entire existence, or they might start in one and move to another. Hopefully outward! How do your Yeses and Nos play out here? We feel obligated to put all of our art out there. Or at least, everything we make should end up in the outer circle, we put that pressure on ourselves. Have you ever made anything that stays in the innermost circle?  What needs to happen in order for something born in one circle to move out to another circle? 

In the very center all is allowed. The glitter, the garish, the naughty, the bad drawing, the experiments, the mess, the unmentionable, the extremely private, the embarrassing. 
That innermost circle yes is a daring temporary yes, and yes in the moment, a yes to ALL personas ALL the urges. It is cathartic, it is maybe extreme. 

Many, many artists do not permit themselves this innermost yes. 

After something is born in the innermost circle, it needs time, YOU need time to see if it is congruent with your other circles. Maybe you will destroy it. Maybe you will hide it. Maybe you will paint over it. Maybe you will protect it and honor it and store it somewhere safe. 

And maybe it kicks ass and is an honest beautiful raw authentic amazing thing you want to share. 

How big is your Innermost Artist Voice?  Is it hiding in the inner circle, and needs coaxing to come out? Is it being heard? What it has to say changes over time. It speaks in all of the circles over time. Just like we do. But what does it want to whisper? What does it want to say when speaking publicly? Do you have its back? 

Another aspect to this nesting of circles is the development of individual artworks. This will drastically vary by the artist. Some of us are capable of improvising street art on the side of a building! But for myself, I usually want to start in the inner circle, and the public circle is intruding. So I am often in the semi-private circle. I’ve worked in that inner circle a lot. I still dip into it. I make sure I am not avoiding it. I don’t know, maybe I need to spend more time there. But it's an intense place to be. And not all of us want to make art from there!  Maybe you want to paint a still life of some fruit, you know? 

Anyway, I usually start in the semi-private. I like some privacy, some safety. Also, I need to be bad at it. It needs some time and space to develop, for layers to build, to find a direction. That heavy outline around the inner circle, those are the kind Nos, the chosen limits you’ve given yourself for materials, style, visual vocabulary. These are healthy focused limits, good creative boundaries you use so you can go deeper into your process and imagery. They develop cohesion. 

The yellow circle is a soft public space. It's your website. Your social media archive. It's been seen, you’ve taken in the response. It has found a home, it is congruent with who you want to be as an artist. The outline around the orange circle is your quality control, and maybe a conditional yes to showing something in progress, sharing your process, behind the scenes, qualifying it with context, that it isn’t done. 

The outer circle is your sharing it for the first time, declaring it, showing it off, promoting it, offering it for sale. It's what you are most proud of. It is your best artist self.

Is there anything you would add to this? Do you travel across the circles? 
What are the different types of fear and safety you experience in your art?

Creativity coaching is designed to support you in navigating these levels. Contact me if you’d like to explore how it can work for you - not a sales call! No pressure, it won’t work if you don’t want it and it would be super awkward ha ha!

What is the culture of your studio? Is it a place to have discipline and work ethic? Where you compare yourself and your art to what you wish it would be and fret about how you are falling short? A place of inadequacy and laziness?

That might be how it feels when you are depressed.

Think of your most fragile, broken, disappointed artistic self. No motivation, feeling down, unable to work, unable to play, messy, dusty and abandoned.

That depressed self must also feel comfortable in your studio. That sad hopeless wretch – it is her space too. It should be just as welcoming to her as it is to you when you are bustling with energy and alive with inspiration.

Both creatures share this sacred space and if the energy of your studio only welcomes your most successful and driven version, it will not be a safe space for your inner artist when she is not well and needs love and support.

When you are at your most motivated, you probably leave a mess. There is no comfortable place to sit because it is covered with sketches or wet paintings needing a space to dry. Brushes left in dirty water, caps left off tubes, excited writing and sketches that might be overwhelming and intimidating to your depressed side. Unfinished work she doesn’t know how to reenter, lacking the confidence to contribute anything of value.

Before you leave your studio, assume that you might be in a low mood, low energy, depressed the next day. What does that part of you need to feel welcome? Fresh paper, easy to use supplies laid out in rainbow order, clean brushes ready to go, a bucket ready to be filled with water. Think of it as a closing blessing ritual for the studio to make it a safe welcoming place in case you feel low the next day. 

And if you are still feeling great the next day? What a delight!  This beautifully laid out space, so inviting.