In this video, I wanted to delve into the challenges of managing artistic creativity while dealing with depression or other chronic invisible conditions (I also get frequent migraines). I'll share my recent personal experiences and insights on finding a balance that works for me. My mood is still low, but I'm making it through!

Struggling with Fluctuations in Energy and Mood:
Living with depression or similar conditions often leads to unpredictable fluctuations in energy, mood, and outlook. Personally, I've struggled with feeling great and full of ideas one moment, only to lose momentum and struggle to get back on track when my mood shifts.

During high-energy phases, I would start new projects and feel unstoppable. However, during low periods, I battled feelings of worthlessness and struggled to do anything productive. This black-and-white perspective created a constant internal conflict.

Shifting Perspectives
A few years ago, I had a realization that maybe my high-energy self was setting me up for failure by expecting constant peak performance. Instead of always initiating new projects during high periods, I learned to use that energy for maintenance and preparation for the inevitable low phases.

During low moments, I practiced being willing to do even the smallest creative task, like sketching a single line in bed. This shift in mindset helped me stay connected to my creative side even during tough times.

I also learned the importance of showing compassion toward myself during depressive episodes. Rather than judging or trying to force myself out of it, I embraced the reality of my feelings and focused on inclusion and acceptance of all aspects of my experience.

Just as Universal Design aims to make spaces accessible to all, I applied a similar concept to my art practice, ensuring it accommodates my full range of moods and energies. This inclusive approach has been transformative in maintaining a sustainable creative practice.

A Beautiful Experience of Self-love and Self-compassion
As part of a business course, I created a recording to rehearse and memorize the authentic self and values I want to bring into my business. I was very aware of including this embrace of my full self as I wrote it. I recently listened to it when my mood was very low and the experience of hearing my own voice remind me of these values of compassion, love and acceptance was extremely moving! I've built a safety net to catch me when my mood falls and it works. I'm still recovering, but I am hopeful

Navigating artistic creativity while managing depression is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-care. Finding balance requires embracing all aspects of oneself, practicing self-compassion, and honoring the rhythms of life.

Do you have strategies you use to manage your mood or energy? Is this an area you struggle with? Let me know in the comments :)

Join me for the for Radiate into Red expressive arts workshop (or to get the recording later).
​Register here!

Join me for a free expressive arts color mediation!
Friday April 5th from 7-8:30 Pacific standard time.

Pre-registration is required (see link below). KEEP THE EMAIL zoom sends you - it contains a link to the zoom session as well as a link to the webpage for the event, including the supply list!
Register in advance for this meeting:
https://us06web.zoom.us/.../tZwscO...

What we are doing in this workshop?
It is the second installment of the Color Mediation series - the "Dive Into Blue" workshop was the first one, and is still free, you can find HERE

In this workshop we are going to explore one color. We will use paint and other art materials, and writing. Setting and a sense of spaciousness and privacy and safety are critically important to this work. It is also important to have a sense of community and a way to share your experience, so there is a Facebook group for you where you can share whatever you are comfortable sharing. 

What I’m hoping you’ll get out of this
Art can be complicated. There are a lot of things we are working with when we paint or write or dance. If you are a beginner, you may not know a lot about color yet, and this is an opportunity to deeply explore what one color can do. If you are an experienced artist, this workshop will help you relax into the simplest elements of visual art and rediscover what you love about color without concern for making a finished painting. Remember, the goal isn’t to use your skills or make an amazing painting. It is to be as present with the sensual experience of using color and to explore it meaning and symbolism.

You might take something from this experience that you can use in more deliberate and developed artworks, but try to let go of that and just enjoy radiating into the color red.

What is Expressive Arts Therapy?
Expressive Arts Therapy is a method of using all of the major art modalities for self exploration and healing. It can be used in conjunction with psychotherapy to explore deeper issues, but I am not a therapist and I use expressive arts for creativity coaching, personal development and spiritual growth. It is deep work, with an orientation towards now, the future and your self actualization. Expressive Arts doesn’t use the arts in isolation. A defining characteristic of it is moving one art modality to another. For example, we paint, and then we write from our painting. We write, and then find movement in the words and perform.

Most of the most profound and deep creative experiences I’ve had have been through using expressive arts methods. I love this approach to creativity and self expression and I’m excited to share it with you.
​
One of the most important things to know about expressive arts is that it has the motto “low skill, high response” when choosing materials and activities. This is a return to the raw essence of self expression. Which is actually much harder for those of us that are trained artists. It can be hard to let go of that training and just be in this almost primitive state of mind and to be with the experience of raw creativity. But when you can, it is powerful.

Last week I talked about the judgmental limiting No, the scared NO. And also the valid NO, the focusing NO. 

Why you say yes, why you say no?
When do you say yes, when do you say no?

What is the timeline of your studio practice, what are the zones of intimacy and privacy in your studio practice? Consider this diagram of the private to public spectrum. The things you create and express are born, live and die on this diagram. They might stay in one circle their entire existence, or they might start in one and move to another. Hopefully outward! How do your Yeses and Nos play out here? We feel obligated to put all of our art out there. Or at least, everything we make should end up in the outer circle, we put that pressure on ourselves. Have you ever made anything that stays in the innermost circle?  What needs to happen in order for something born in one circle to move out to another circle? 

In the very center all is allowed. The glitter, the garish, the naughty, the bad drawing, the experiments, the mess, the unmentionable, the extremely private, the embarrassing. 
That innermost circle yes is a daring temporary yes, and yes in the moment, a yes to ALL personas ALL the urges. It is cathartic, it is maybe extreme. 

Many, many artists do not permit themselves this innermost yes. 

After something is born in the innermost circle, it needs time, YOU need time to see if it is congruent with your other circles. Maybe you will destroy it. Maybe you will hide it. Maybe you will paint over it. Maybe you will protect it and honor it and store it somewhere safe. 

And maybe it kicks ass and is an honest beautiful raw authentic amazing thing you want to share. 

How big is your Innermost Artist Voice?  Is it hiding in the inner circle, and needs coaxing to come out? Is it being heard? What it has to say changes over time. It speaks in all of the circles over time. Just like we do. But what does it want to whisper? What does it want to say when speaking publicly? Do you have its back? 

Another aspect to this nesting of circles is the development of individual artworks. This will drastically vary by the artist. Some of us are capable of improvising street art on the side of a building! But for myself, I usually want to start in the inner circle, and the public circle is intruding. So I am often in the semi-private circle. I’ve worked in that inner circle a lot. I still dip into it. I make sure I am not avoiding it. I don’t know, maybe I need to spend more time there. But it's an intense place to be. And not all of us want to make art from there!  Maybe you want to paint a still life of some fruit, you know? 

Anyway, I usually start in the semi-private. I like some privacy, some safety. Also, I need to be bad at it. It needs some time and space to develop, for layers to build, to find a direction. That heavy outline around the inner circle, those are the kind Nos, the chosen limits you’ve given yourself for materials, style, visual vocabulary. These are healthy focused limits, good creative boundaries you use so you can go deeper into your process and imagery. They develop cohesion. 

The yellow circle is a soft public space. It's your website. Your social media archive. It's been seen, you’ve taken in the response. It has found a home, it is congruent with who you want to be as an artist. The outline around the orange circle is your quality control, and maybe a conditional yes to showing something in progress, sharing your process, behind the scenes, qualifying it with context, that it isn’t done. 

The outer circle is your sharing it for the first time, declaring it, showing it off, promoting it, offering it for sale. It's what you are most proud of. It is your best artist self.

Is there anything you would add to this? Do you travel across the circles? 
What are the different types of fear and safety you experience in your art?

Creativity coaching is designed to support you in navigating these levels. Contact me if you’d like to explore how it can work for you - not a sales call! No pressure, it won’t work if you don’t want it and it would be super awkward ha ha!