I started this yesterday, and had the thought, what the fuck am I doing?
While I was doing it, I had the thought, 'well its okay if my unspoken hypothesis ends up wrong or useless'
I felt self conscious. I am doing this for an audience, rather than the safety of a group of people who are focused on healing. This is more about art, and art education.
I did an active imagination, allowing my mind to wander visually while I wrote down what I was with my eyes closed. The parts that stood out are these:
- A memory of a man standing alone in a snooty restaurant, with a sweater over his shoulders, looking lonely and out of place.
- The man leaving, stripping down and diving into a river
- The man floating up through the air as if he had been at the bottom of the ocean, a large, very large bird swooping down and scooping him up. He crawled into the downy feathers - safe, and moving.
- a scene from a movie (can't remember the name) with a glass sphere speeding though outer space, carrying the Tree of Life
I felt unsure what to do with this, so i decided to use white crayon and to draw some fo these images. I did a wash of soluble graphite over them.
I ignored my theme, trying to just go with the flow of images, symbols, trying to not think about what it meant, just going deeper.
I became aware of a pattern developing. Foam, capillaries and camouflage, patterns from nature. The idea of camouflage struck a note. Some animals have it, some do not at all.
I reworked the images, thinking about this, but mostly getting lost in the making, not thinking at all.