I did not anticipate my home life to be one of the issues in my privacy/exposure exploration, but it is a major one, and always has been regardless of living situation.
It has been so hard not only to make time to work on this, but to have time that is private and uninterrupted. The thing that is wonderful about visual art is that I can do it small, in sketchbooks, only taking up half of a table, and able to close/hide whatever it was that I made or wrote.
But I also long to expand my expressive arts practice into big, noisy and disruptive activities like music and movement and it is so hard to do that at home. My kids and my partner are always around, and even though my kids pretty much ignore me, it is difficult to be in a raw, vulnerable creative state with the t.v. blasting. I long for my own space.
I find that I am wanting to expand the boundaries of what is okay for me to make, what is taboo. That is asking too much, and it is not just my orientation that limits me. Everyone is limited, everyone has that boundary where they feel censored.
This week was difficult not only because the topic, which felt unsafe to explore, but also because I am tired of feeling like I am making art about something, instead of just making stuff. I feel my self rebelling. It is becoming more about me as artist, creating, and less about orientation or teaching.
The artwork I made today plays with visual ideas about space, private/safe space and public/hostile space. Framing, veils, boundaries. Invasion, spying.